A Call From A Broken Heart

For the great majority of my life I have been extremely self centered, selfish, self absorbed, judgmental, hypocritical, and perhaps the most damaging of all oblivious. Taking on these traits with the help of others as well as trying to delve deeper into my faith I have tackled each one and they have been painful but the last one is the one that is breaking my heart.

I am realizing that the church in America is imploding it seems. For so long I blamed the “older Christians” for being judgmental, condemning, harsh, and unforgiving and they were the problem with Christianity. They were the reason people didn't want to come to Christ. They were the black mark on the faith. As I have gotten a bit older I am realizing that yes the older generation definitely has issues that they need to work on but the younger generation has just as many issues.

Romans 6:1-2

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?

I grew up in a place where this was really truly understood. Over seas when someone becomes a Christian their life drastically changes. People are persecuted and their families shun them because they out of faith give up deadly practices like rampant alcoholism. These people make a defining change and sacrifice for the truth.

Yet in America, especially amongst my generation it seems, oh so many of us fight tooth and nail to not have to give up anything. I struggle with this so much. In the last two years I have done things that have shamed God's name and have put people off of Christianity. My mentality for so much was that I was forgiven no matter what I did, so there. I have the grace of God on my side so I can do whatever I want and it will all be hunky dory. WRONG! The whole “well its a good thing Jesus loves me so much He'll forgive me for this,” trite attitude just blows my mind even though I walked in it myself. If a spouse continuously, knowingly, and intentionally cheats and the other continuously forgives them, will there ever be any kind of solid relationship there unless the cheating stops? Just because there is forgiveness time and time and time again, doesn't guarantee a solid relationship. And I feel that my generation of Christians have adapted this mentality that forgiveness is there so it doesn't matter how much like the world I act Monday through Saturday. It is so sad because people see this hypocrisy, roll their eyes and not only walk away from us as people but from Christ as the salvation they so desperately need.

Romans 12:2

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

This goes hand in hand with what I wrote above. So many Christians in America don't want to be transformed it seems. We are perfectly content to label ourselves Christians, call on the salvation that is promised with that, and then not change a thing about out lives. We want to use the language that we want to use. We want to drink copiously and behave however we want. We want to dress however the mood strikes and then we get ticked off when someone else in the faith challenges us on it. These are all issues that I have struggled so much with in the past so I feel comfortable using them as examples. And I have finally had to look into my own heart and ask why? Why am I so fixed on all this crap that does nothing to farther my faith in Christ to a sick and dying world? My answer hit me like a ton of bricks, I'm not really all that interested in stretching out my “faith arms” and touching others out there. Sure I will debate with other Christians till my face turns blue about all sorts of issues, but I am too selfish to make the changes that will make people stop and say, “I want to know what she has because I want that too.” That my friends is the light of Christ. When people observe us at work, in the parking lot, in a restaurant, in the park with our children or friends, that is when they see what Christ really means. And sadly most of the time they see us acting just as selfishly, rudely, inappropriately, and self righteously as the person who doesn't claim to have a life altering faith. So why should they change and give up a whole day to go to church when they lead their lives oh so very similarly to us?

Or faith can't be about us any more, dear brothers and sisters. It's whole purpose can't be about what Christ will and wont forgive me for. It can't be about being right and beating others over the head with X, Y and Z. Our faith can't be about being holier than the next person either. It can't be about the whole list of amazing sinless things I do so I have the right to correct everyone around me. NO! Our faith was never supposed to be souly about us! Ever! We must improve our relationship with a God who shouldn't love us but does. It is imperative that we grab hold of our faith and ask God to make it real to us.To further out faith within us so that we can try and understand the grace the has already been miraculously bestowed upon us. But that friends, is where our faith being about us ends. The rest of our energy has to be delegated outwards not inwards. We must be willing to do as Christ did instead of standing around jabbering about deep theological stuff and then never acting on it. We must be doers of the word not just, “oh I'll stick it in this drawer and talk about it with my friends when I feel like it.”

My friend stated on Facebook that, "We definitely need grace in our own lives that Christ gives, and we need to offer it to others. If you do not recognize fully what you have been given and who you are then you have nothing to give others." And with that I totally agree. We must dig deep and understand the grace and mercy that covers us on a daily basis so we can share that but we can't use the depth of that abounding grace as a crutch or an allowance to just shrug off the responsibility God has called us to in being Christians. 

Its time to stop being the imploding mess that so many people shy away from and start being the body that Christ intended. Its time to challenge one another in Godliness without demanding to be right. Its time to not yell at the people in the parking lot because they are being freaking idiots. Its time to stop dancing and dressing like all we are is a piece of Thursday night meat. Its time to stop dating around and pushing lines with every girl/guy just because you can. Its time to bless others even if its not convenient, easy, or fun. Its time to worship God on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Its time to start praying for real and thinking of others more than we think of ourselves. Its time to stand up and take the gift that Christ bestowed on us and share its amazing light with the world instead of dragging it through the mud to the point that no one wants to touch it.

Its time for me to be a doer instead of just a talker. Who's with me?