I'm not sure how to describe the overwhelming sense of sadness that has taken up residence by my side the last few weeks. I can't seem to shake it for more than a day or so at a time and then its back like a cat that you just can't get rid of. It sits there nudging me just to remind me that, yes, it is there. I feel like crying so much of the time even when I am laughing because, well, that laugh is hollow and false. this isn't how its always been but lately its my reality that I hate. I don't know what to do. I am so lost

a complete inspiration

I just watched this video that made me cry. it is amazing, i'm not the only one out there. What was I thinking!? Of course I'm no the only one dealing with being fat. If you are reading this and hear it with an angry voice, you are in the right. I am angry. I am angry with myself for letting myself go so far. I am angry that I have barfed excuses all over the place because I was just too lazy to get off my fat but and do something! come on! So this is my resolution. Next summer I want to post a video response to this one with astonishing results. I am done being that fat girl. I am done going through bouts of depression because I have no defined chin and I look like a few stacked marshmallows. This is where it ends. One step at a time and the first step is being fed up enough to where i will actually do something about this.